Sadia Khan's Early Life

Originally written by Sadia Khan

I belong to a conservative Pashtun family my grandparents came from Kandahar and got settled in Pakistan that makes me an Afpak girl

I started writing this book when I saw President Barak Obama bowing in front of Saudi king Abdullah. During Obama presidential campaign I liked him when he said no money train to Pak military ruler. I thought since he has a Muslim background he will better understand the hypocrisy of Muslim rulers but when he bowed to King Abdullah I was extremely disappointed I started dreaming to write a book which will expose the truth behind Al-Qaida ……..the sophisticated terrorists.

It was not an easy job for me I am no genius but yes with the grace of God I am blessed with human understanding I am a positive person and whenever something goes wrong my built in system starts signaling, words spoken actions reactions facial expression gestures motivations all speak loudly to me

I remember as a child in 90s when soviet union fell and mujahedeen were victorious everyone loved them, it was then when I was travelling in a bus from Quetta to Chaman I had a seat behind two mujahedeen I wanted to look outside so I stood behind them I heard them clearly one was telling the other how he slaughtered a girl who was bent upon continuing her studies the other one praised him highly for being a true Muslim. I hated them both I wanted to harm them.   I spat slowly in their Patoos one by one that was my first revenge ….and many more yet to come. Perhaps my hatred of extremists is senior than anyone else

Nothing hurts me more than when I think the terrorists of today are the joint venture of CIA and ISI. CIA never realized that these throat slitters would happily slit the throats of their own children in the days to come but for how long we can cry over spilt blood …we must move on

Indian Aircraft high jacking

 In 1999 Indian aircraft got high jacked to Kandahar I loved Kandahar the home of my grandparents we watched the live footage of high jacking as keenly as a cricket match between Pakistan and India I was told that the purpose of the high jack is the freedom of Kashmir I was watching praying for the freedom of both Kashmir and the passengers. One Hindu passenger was killed and I did not like it. Objected on it and got shouts from my family. The commentators were talking about the Hijackers as if they were the most brave souls on the earth they sounded so very familiar with the Hijackers as if they were family members to them They showed the Hijackers who were as flexible as athletes and looked more like jam nastic players then Hijackers. One commentator would shout he is the brother of Maulana Azhar and he is the brother in law of Maulana they talked about the Hijackers with great respect. I wondered how very well the commentators knew them and how they recognized them behind the masks, also wondered about the family of Maulana so good in hijacking, then they showed few glimpses of Maulana with beard he was the one for whose freedom this Hijacking was conducted he was in a big jeep along with some others and with Indian high officials.

 Later on when the passengers were released the commentators did not like it. They had no objection on the release of the passengers but were of the view that that they should have made more demands then merely asking for the release of two or three people.

When 911 happened

 Two years later when 911 happened I felt extremely sorry for the burning people but in no way believed that Muslims were behind it. Every one talked about one thing that it’s a drama of George Bush to attack Muslims and it did followed by the war in Afghanistan

I hated Americans for the war I threw my favorite key chain having the photos of my all-time favorite back street boys in a pile of garbage and told myself…garbage to garbage.

Once I heard a CNN female news reader talking about the war in Afghanistan saying …we are dropping bombs and we are dropping food items ……that was extremely arrogant and inhuman I hated Americans from the core of my heart.

General Musharraf Appeared on national TV and said that American have warned him that they would bomb us to stone age if we don’t cooperate with them he looked so Compelled so hones.t I truly loved the helpless Pak General and hated the blood thirsty American. Every one said they want to destroy Islam and Muslims. I hated them from the core of my heart.

Oh God destroy them. Destroy them do not spare a single American on the earth I prayed to God. I always prayed to God before falling asleep “oh Allah listen to me bring a big earth quake bigger than any other quake earth has ever experienced and swallow America and Americans all of them all at once”

one day I got up to the news there was an earth quake, but not in America in Afghanistan I saw the photographs of Rosy cheeked children of Afghanistan Devasted by bombing and now Devasted by earthquake in biting cold weather…...that was the last time I ever prayed for any destruction ever again.

Murder of Denial Pearl

 Life went on then came a time when I saw a photograph of an American in the newspaper, man was bending down and a pistol held to his head it was written that this kidnapped American has a threat to his life.

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Hahahahaha I laughed who would kill killers, I took the photographs to everyone else in the house and informed them of another American drama yet to be staged. Every one believed me.

That was an Eid day when I got up no one was home they had gone to relatives for Eid greetings. I picked up the newspaper and read the news, the news which changed my life, the same man Denial Pearl had been killed and killed in a most brutal way he was slaughtered. I was extremely hurt I read the news with blurred eyes again and again I also felt a lot of guilt. A transformed me realized there is much more going on then I can understand

In days to come I read more and more about terrorism I listened to the news read Jihadi literature and loaded myself with information and understanding about ongoing Islamic militancy. I started understanding more and more and every day I felt that as I was changing slowly and gradually I was getting rejected by my people my family my friends and everyone else. In every discussion I stood alone no one wanted to agree with me I was all by myself.

In Saudi Arabia

 As a teen I also went to Saudi Arabia to perform Umra and learnt a lot about Saudi Arabia I found it a lot different from what I heard about it my information about Saudi Arabia was they are the most pious God fearing and helpful people on earth and my experience was somewhat different.

 I was many times hit on the head by the religious police called Mutawas for not covering my head. We often went to a market called souk baled the most beautiful market of Jeddah.

In the prayers time Mutawas use to come and shopkeepers would rush to close the shops they were terrified by the Mutawas.

Once we were sitting with a Hindu family outside the shops as they were closed for prayers. The family consisted of two women and a man all of a sudden mutawas came and started shouting Salah Salah(pray) as they shouted every one present there rushed to the mosque and one mutawa came near us and hit the Hindu man on the head he ran to the mosque we were shocked Hindu man got hit by the mutawas and rushed to the mosque to pray I started laughing and kept on laughing for a long time I was still laughing when the man joined us back he looked very normal as if nothing had happened the ladies told us that it’s a routine he always goes to the mosque upon seeing mutawas or upon getting hit and comes back when they disappear.

On that trip we had two other relative girls with us who were quite grownups as we shopped I noticed that everyone in the shopping center did not miss a chance to look at them they were beautiful and did not wear any face covering so everyone seemed interested in them. That was very strange for me it was not in accordance what I heard about Saudia. Once the girls decided to go to some gold shop to buy some earrings. As the three of us entered in to the shops the owners of the shops were thrilled… Ahalan Ahlan(welcome) they  shouted. They spoke to us in broken English as the girls were checking the earrings the shopkeepers brought many jewelry items kept in front of the girls and never missed a chance to touch them …"take it take it you are beautiful its all yours" …we were shocked and our eyes dazzled with the shining gold girls did not understand what to do and left the shop. We thought they were joking. We went to another shop of gold all the shops of gold were in one straight line, same story repeated the second shopkeeper was also all in love did not miss a chance to touch the girls making an excuse of trying the gold bracelets on the girls hands however he asked a boy to keep checking for the mutawas, as he flirted, the same story was repeated …."Friend …friend the man would put two fingers together. (A friendship request)please take it, its all yours Pakistani girls are Halw" Then the mutawas entered in the shop the shopkeeper became as sober as anyone can be, he was looking down and talked to the mutawas, collected his gold and spoke to us “ sister if you don’t want to buy you can go”.

We came out from the shop with a very heavy heart thinking we just lost the chance the man was about to give all the gold to us we were also surprised at their unified behavior Next day we were all prepared we planned to go when the mutawas were not around in the market. Shopping centers were crowded with mutawas at the times of Salah (prayers)

In the evening we spoke to each other and came to the conclusion that Saudis were extremely rich they love beautiful girls, we will try to fool them and pocket the gold. Next day at the appropriate time between Zohar and Assar prayers we were there to hunt .The girls gave me a bag to put gold in it and we decided to go to as many shops as we could and collect as much gold as we can the girls also decided that they would allow the shopkeepers to touch them generously, to earn more and more I was told to watch for the mutawas just in case someone comes. I agreed I wanted to help them as much as I could all I was worried was my share of gold.

Before entering the first shop we prayed to God to help us we also promised God that we would help the poor after getting rich.

The first shopkeeper met us so warmly as if he was waiting for us he brought the gold, all your he said as he held the hand of one of the girl the girl smiled some words of love were exchanged for a long time the shopkeeper kept holding the hand of the girl. The girl kept saying" yes yes sure. You are also beautiful" ……

I started collecting the gold …..”No No not now not now” he said. “Why? you gave this gold to my sister” I objected, no no he said again then he pressed her hand and said first you go with me …I have my apartment we go and enjoy …I was shocked and disappointed the girl was smart enough to handle the situation she said" yes I will go with you but give me the gold now"

….no first you go with me and then I give this is all yours Wallah(BY GOD).The girl played another card "I have a party I want to wear this tonight tomorrow I will go with you’’ …..Ok no problem shopkeeper insisted you go with me tomorrow and then I will give you the gold tomorrow….we left the shop.

went to another shop still with some hope but the same story was repeated we tried many other shops the same story repeated over and over again no one gave us even a smallest piece of gold.

In the end the disappointed girls bought earring from one shopkeeper who was also a big flirt and and was offering all minutes before but ended up arguing and bargaining for 50 riyals.

girls were mad at them and I was already crying I told them they touched you so much but didn’t give us anything the horrified girls soon took me to a 10 riyals shop and filled up my bag from cheap yet very attractive gifts and we all agreed not to talk about it.

The morale of this perhaps irrelevant story is that it’s a white lie of royal family that the rich Saudis are supporting jihad those owners of shining shops were neither too Islamic nor to generous, they were quite tight fisted and quite un-Islamic. Its the Government itself which supports terrorism.

 We went to perform Umra many times during our stay. There too three of us (girls) had different experience then the rest of the family unveiling Saudis and the Arabs. Umra is performed in Baitullah (house of Allah)it’s the most sacred place of Muslims we were expecting that people performing Umra would be too lost in their prayers activities. As we were taking 7 rounds of the holy place around Kaaba in a stuffed crowded area all three of us suffered pinches and people touched us on our legs and Thias they touched us on different occasions after getting pinched and touched all over the three of us would jump and look at each other, later when we told the older ladies that we had the same kind of touch ups and pinches like we often have in Quetta' s crowded market they did not believe us and said who would do this in the house of Allah we must be mistaken.

 During our repetitive Umar's we met few Pakistanis outside the Harem who told us that they just got robbed of everything, when we met them for the first time we helped them but later came to know that they were lying as we met them again and again. We also came to know that in the crowded area where we got pinched there were others who got robed someone very skillfully cut their pockets and robbed them of not only money but also of their passports.

Baitullah was not free of mutawas religious police was very much there controlling people that they should perform their prayers in accordance with Wahabism there were many Pakistanis who got beaten up by the police for holding the sacred black cover of Kaba while praying. All of us old and young men and women got beaten up with a stick on our heads by the thin mutawas who were controlling the circulating crowd who was desperate to kiss a black stone from heaven (hajera Aswad)

 I also noticed that the Saudis who came to perform Umra from the smaller cities of Saudi Arabia were a lot different from the one who came from Daharan or Jeddah they were not as tidy and rich looking as the one from larger cities. Children behaved in a very in civilized way and they were not any different from the children of villages in Pakistan

 Unlike the people of larger cities who came in their private long cars the poor and less civilized looking Saudis got inside the local buses outside the Kaba.

 The favorite drink of all the Muslims on this planet is none other but Zam Zam the holy water of Haram .this unlimited water of Allah would never get finished till the last day. Any Muslim would pay any price for this water unfortunately the king of Saudi Arabia has deprived the whole Muslim world of this holy water. According to them since its holy its not for sale ironically this water is available on sale right outside the Kaaba and also in Jeddah.

We also went to Medina Where prophet Mohammad (PBUH) rests

The local People of Medina were very sweet and a lot different from the people of Mecca we had no problems there.

I joined university

In 2008 I joined Karachi University it was a beautiful start for me as I was not a regular student in college. Everything went very well I was more than welcomed in the class there were only few girls in the class the rest were boys they were extremely good caring and helpful I also noticed that I was quite preferred on the other class fellow girls it was a dream come true, how it changed into a nightmare still frightens me.

Our 1st presentation of the class went very well. As my group stood in front of the class after the presentation the topic changed to politics and I spoke with ease ….I said Taliban are our enemies and Americans were doing a good job by standing against the terrorists. I spoke at length in favor of America and American human rights considerations I said we should not blame America for everything I also said that Pak army was not serious in the fight against terrorism. The debate got heated up when I said that those were Muslims not Americans or Indians who kept the family of prophet Mohammad (PBUH) thirsty for ten days in scorching heat of Karbala and slaughtered His grandson Hazrat Husain (PBUH) the teacher somehow agreed with me but the whole class debated with me it was a strange debate one girl on one side and 30 students on the other all taking out fire from their mouth they straight away declared me an American agent.

It was the last time that I was ever a member of a group in the following days there was only one member in my group "myself” No one sat beside me. They even stopped saying hi and bye to me so much attitude and that too all of a sudden.

 I was devastated with this behavior of my friends and as a silent protest stopped wearing Pakistani dress I started wearing skirts(long) jeans and trousers and western style dresses this further aggravated the matter I was bullied like no one else has ever perhaps experienced

I stood confident put up a brave face but was broken from inside. I missed couple of semesters to get rid of my class fellows but they were enemies enough to inform the joining students that I was an American agent and successfully isolated me.Those Two long years of university life are unforgettable I felt like I was carrying my dead body, I was like an alien roaming around all by myself I also got minus 05 and sometimes minus 10 in all my subjects for failing to be a part of a group …

I started feelings lazy and weak doctors told me I was tensed and depressed and that I should be happy. In my final exam I fell short of 4 marks I had no power to go for another semester I asked the university authorities to give me grace marks which they refused so I remained a Master degree holder minus one subject. My wish to attend the graduation ceremony remained un fulfilled. My colorless life went on

Terrorists all over

We were living in Karachi and I found out that lots of terrorists and suspicious people were living in the commercial apartments of Karachi. There are loads and loads of suspicious people living comfortably in cities protected by ISI people who have eyes can see them the rest can still feel the pain they have cause us.

I also met one man who told me that he is an isi sipahi (soldier).He told me that he was aware of every street in Quetta and he has covered the whole of Quetta on his bicycle he told me that Pakistani Taliban are fighting in Afghanistan along with Pakistan army afghan Taliban are agents of America and are conducting suicide attacks in Pakistan

 The floods in Pakistan is a creation of America they have dissolved glaciers with bombs resulting in floods to destroy Pakistan. This reminded me of Holbrooke statement in the book “Obama wars “when he cautioned that he activities of Pak army can cause floods in Pakistan and he was not taken serious.

He also told me that soon there would be a revolution in Pakistan and Nawaz Sharif would be the Ameer ul Momeeneen.He told me that Baloch is written on his face and he has used it to save the nation. (He looked Baloch)

 There was another man who has a big shop. Whenever I went to his shop he started brainwashing me he spoke extensively against Americans and Jews he told me that Jews were after his life when he was in manila in 2002 they sent a mission to kill him. He said that if the Jews wanted to revenge they would never spare a person no matter how much he hides. on hearing this I remembered Denial Pearl ….and I said then why the killer of Denial Perl is still Alive,……he was choked and shocked so much so, as if he was one of the killers himself and I was there to take him. In a strange voice he said who...Sheikh Ummar Saeed he is not alive he has been hanged. I said of course not. He is still alive and so called imprisoned, by now he was back in his senses and very peacefully he told me that Denial Pearl wanted to interview sheikh Galani and he crossed all the boundaries of a journalist.

I was surprised to hear that the man didn’t know that the killer of Denial Perl is still alive but he knew whom Denial wanted to interview when he was taken ….strange very strange.

I came out from the market and took the taxi which was already parked in the main entrance. The taxi driver a Pashtun from Khyber Pkh province was a young untidy man.He told me that there is a strike the road is block and I will take another route. We started without bothering where he was going he took a route I was not familiar with, mean while he kept slowing down his taxi and told the other taxi drivers and the rickshaw drivers in Pashto that they must read the newspaper tomorrow it will be a very happy day as happy as Kashmir is freed. He said this to many passer byes as well, and I thought that may be tomorrow its some Kashmir day. A couple of times he got off from his taxi and talked on his cell this made me doubtful why he had to leave the place while talking. He showed great interest in taking to me he asked me .."Are you studying" and then he said "so you think you will continue your studies" sending shock waves … then he smiled and said I have also done lots of studies I studied law. “What were your subjects" I asked "my subject was brick" (break) he pointed how to break something. I have the books with me under my seat I will show you when we reach your destination.

 I took out a 500 note from my purse we stopped on a red signal   I threw the note on him and jumped out from the taxi and panic i stopped the passing by bus and got in.

 I remember the last glimpse of the driver with open mouth grieved face and least interested in the big note which I threw on him.

When Osama bin laden died

It was Sunday morning I got up and while having my tea turned on the news there was an unusual news about three helicopters attacking a house in Abbot Abad and one helicopter got destroyed I did not quite get the news I was use to of usual lies of army oppressions against Taliban every day we hear of thirty militants dead and yet no Taliban has ever been killed, But this incident looked very different than the usual made up attacks. I turned on CNN and there I got the news that Osama bin laden was dead but where and how? Still to be announced by president Barak Obama so, there before anyone else knew where he was killed I knew where it happened and what was the unusual news of helicopters all about.

I was very happy on this development and specially that the place of his death spoke volumes about sophisticated terrorists.

Around 12 o’clock along with my nine years old sister I was out to know the reaction of fellow countrymen about the death of Osama bin laden. I briefed my sister how she would make the video on my mobile while I talk to different people while sitting in the taxi. I preferred to sit in the taxi for my security i was any way not to scared of ISI operatives as I thought it was Sunday morning they must be lying dead drunk plus the news of the death of Osama bin laden was a bomb shell on them they will take some time to come back to their brutality.

My plan went ways successful then I expected I interviewed (question answer) around 60 men AND WOMEN and I asked them the following questions.

(1)Today Osama bin laden got killed by Americans in an army area of Pakistan why Pakistan army did not kill him was it intentional or a failure.

(2) What do you think, Raymond Davis should have been freed

(3)what do you think NATO forces should carry on the drone strikes on the safe havens of militants or not.

(4)what do you think about Americans are they good people or bad.

(5)Do you think American aid or any other international aid reaches common people or it gets consumed by the establishment?

(6) Is it easy to arrange for food for three times a day for your family in Pakistan. Would you prefer if the international financial aid turns in to food items?

(7)Do you want war with Indians or friendship.

What do you think more people are getting killed in Karachi or Indian Kashmir. Should we be worried about the freedom of Kashmiris or we should worry about Pakistan.

(9) Pak army has lots of bombs and nukes and we are hungry how do you look at it.do you prefer to have food and good life or you want army to have more bombs

I was surprised at the reaction of the people they were ways broadminded and peaceful then they are depicted in Isi run media. I was more surprised when I came to know that most of the people had a very positive opinion of Americans.

I saved the videos in my computer and decided that next Sunday I will do the same and collect more public opinion.

When the rangers were about to kill us

 Sunday came and I was back in a taxi along with my cameraman 9 year old sister Description: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEgGWfdfGG06HDc6wbc6l8B0O8PSOhAnNS2x6_eVagfEm-w6HQuBwsv6LkNdvpUBhvrf7L_ipEZlPPssdXtGvDW9x5DTtE7Y-XhQYXqLKTM9eMu7MSa2Ewx9rCD6-4GpoDByznOqv1XSxbGHZw8Wdx15V784FVPxg0I9bNs6IZKz2-9orENFH84= my mother was also with me.she had a lot of objection on this and she thought it was too dangerous. I begged her to look for any suspicious person while she makes the video and I do the talking

 I took the taxi from a far off place so in case if someone asks the driver he should not know where I live.

The taxi driver was an old man when I told him what I was doing he was very happy he told me if we have young people like you nothing bad will happen to Pakistan. He was of the idea that that all the mess in Pakistan is due to the military supporting militants as I talked to him he prayed for the destruction of the high ups of army and I said amen many times.

As we talked carelessly a horrible situation kept waiting for us.

 I interviewed few people when the driver took a turn to sharh e faisal it’s a straight road to airport I did not like the idea of stopping people there and talking to them I told the driver to get out of there and go somewhere else when he was about to turn I saw few boys walking on the road I told the driver to stop. He stopped the taxi and I talked to the two boys. The last thing one of the boy told me was that that the Pak army kept Osama bin laden in their protection. We laughed I thanked them and asked the driver to turn into a street so that we can get out of the Shareh e faisal but all of a sudden we found ourselves surrounded by some 3 or 4 rangers(army Personnel)I was dead scared I knew how they kill their opponents and name them suicide bombers oh I am done no body on earth would ever doubt that we were not suicide bombers.my mother told me that she was reading Quranic verses at the time. I was thinking hard can I trick them .they took us out from the taxi one sat with the driver inside the taxi and we three were out.one said shoot them they all shifted us to the side of the footpath pointing with their guns I felt the long gun on my shoulder while they gathered us in one place. I had already taken the cell phone from my sis and slided it inside my clothes all I had in my hand was a big register in which I supposedly wrote people opinion.

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I played my last card I said loudly  I am a university student I am doing my assignment.

Where is your id card? The beast in uniform roared I don’t have it now I am from ......... university you can call and find out all my class is doing this assignment this is our field work and we get marks for this. They put down their guns we started walking in the opposite direction my trick worked on them they didn’t kill us because they thought tomorrow all her class fellows will be witness that they were not suicide bombers but the girl was a university student who was doing her assigned field work.

We took another taxi and had to pass by the same place opposite of the road our taxi was parked there but the sweet Baba was nowhere to be seen the rangers had taken him with them perhaps to know  in detail what i was doing.

An autoimmune patient finds out about autoimmune countries

 My horrible experience of university my tensions worries and fears  intoxicated me enough I suffered from a number of auto immune diseases. Doctors were unable to understand what was wrong with me I was again alone in my fight against my disease as I was alone in my fight against terror. I found out through extensive research on the net that I was an auto immune patient later the doctors confirmed it through the blood tests. I suffered from a range of autoimmune diseases like thyroid, celiac, and vitiligo.

Our internal(worries) and external(climate) toxins can lead to autoimmunity these toxins absorb the iodine of the body when the body suffers lack of iodine our immune system becomes dysfunctional starts creating antibodies these anti bodies start attacking the weaker parts of our body thus our immune system which usually provides protection against diseases starts attacking our body and becomes an enemy.

I read about this and tried to feed extra iodine to my body.

It almost killed me I was admitted to hospital in ICU. When I recovered I found out what went wrong with me

 When an autoimmune body is fed with iodine which it desperately needs it can suffer death reason behind is very simple immune system of an autoimmune patient works against the body it creates antibodies these antibodies absorb all the iodine fed to the body and get stronger and attack the person strongly and powerfully which can lead to critical condition of the patient

I survived and learned the biggest lesson of my life .Saudi Arabia Pakistan Egypt Somalia Yemen Tunisia and Afghanistan are autoimmune countries people of these countries desperately need money and help but whenever money would be poured in to these countries the antibodies (army, security agencies or corrupt authorities) of these countries would absorb it become stronger and would attack the poor nation more strongly.

The bottom line is whichever country is producing more terrorists you must know immediately that there is nothing wrong with the people but something is seriously wrong with the immune system of the country its always army of the country behind the terrorists not the terrorists themselves.

In 2011 i started going to places where people who had fled from war torn Pashtun tribal areas had come to stay

Those people told me that they were more scared of security forces then Taliban security forces were killing those who resisted Taliban. both security forces and Taliban use to call each other by name they sat together to have meals  and together they kidnapped and killed  they also told me that security forces line up those resisting people and shoot them one by one later they are named Taliban.

Listening to such stories was extremely painful.

My activities didn’t go unnoticed i was followed and once a big Mazda  hit  my jeep i started receiving threats I was extremely horrified finally i along with my mom and 10 year old sister fled from Karachi to save our lives.

Today perhaps the American know the double game of Pak army it has cost them years of suffering and thousands dead. I wonder how many more years and how many more lives it would cost America and the rest of the world to know the double game of Saudi Arabia

I wrote this book to minimize the further loss of precious human lives and to unveil the conspiracy of sophisticated terrorists and the core facts behind Islamic militancy.

I would continue my war against extremism